Next...

Thanks all for letting me vent. I think I realized that when my dad passed away, I had to be the strong one and so it took me a while to really mourn him. The one thing I didn't realize is that getting over missing him was one thing, missing what my life used to be like is another.

Things have changed. I used to joke that my parents were my "kids". Well now, I do fully in my heart feel that I am responsible for my mom just as I am for my three kids and Jeff. While we were in Peru, I easily fell into the familiar pattern of child who asked mom for help. After all, it is her country, her customs, etc. But in reality, my mom was/is still in the stage of being a widow. Everything is new again, because she is looking at it all through new eyes. She still needed me to lean on. It was hard for both of us.

So I am asking for prayers. I think I was assuming that I had learned everything I needed to learn from Dad dying, but obviously I am wrong. I do have to be strong for my family, so I ask for strength.

I mostly share this because someday you (the reader) may find yourself in my shoes experiencing the death of a parent. I honestly don't know many (if any) people who are in my shoes with elderly parents and young children. I just hope it helps.

One of the nicest things someone once said to me was "No matter how old you are, it still hurts to lose your dad." It may not make much sense right now, but it touched my heart when she said it.

My no-good-crappy-"A"-day

No need for commenting on this one... consider this my frustrated scream of "Cant handle it anymore". You see, I'm much too polite to do this in person. But I want to curse, drink, smoke, throw things and tell everyone who passes me to "Take a flying leap" but in not-so-polite words.

I'm tired of reading everyone's thoughts on Obama. He is our president and we should support him whether or not he was our first choice. Will he drive the country into the ground or raise us from the ashes... who knows? All I know is that he has the passion to want to have this responsibility. I wouldn't put my family through it. would you?

It has been hard coming back from Peru. While I want to relax, Jeff is so motivated to get things done. I feel like crap that I'm not as fired up as him.

The kids are misbehaving, not eating vegetables, getting constipated because they are afraid of pooping in the toilet, not picking up after themselves, whining, not listening, taking their seatbelts off before I turn off the car, etc.

The price of American Girls went up $5 from last year, why didn't I buy it then?

Our old tenant from the McKinley house died last week.

A friend of mine posted the nicest, best post about being a mother and not expecting returns because she is doing it for God. I yell at my children. Repeatedly.

My dogs have taken to running away when I let them out.

I get yelled at for being on the computer too much.

There is still a leg lamp in my living room that was supposed to make it to Jeff's work.

I think I am going to spent the rest of the night on the treadmill.

Blah!

Peruvian Casinos

Since there are way to many things to write about my trip to Peru, I thought I would break them down.

First of all, here is a crude map of all the casinos in Lima. About 40 I think.

I have an aunt who enjoys going to casinos. She took me along to see what they are like. There are many in the Lima. They stand out like crazy with the gazillion lights and huge signs showing off their names like "New York", "Flamingo", "Majestic", "Tropicana", "Bellagio" and "Atlantic City".

My aunt's favorite is Atlantic City. As opposed to the casinos I am used to in the US, these places are upscale, spacious, well lit, and they cater to their patrons. Free drinks, food, cigarettes and gifts are the norm. It was my aunt's birthday and she received a cake (full size) and perfume.

The slot machines are the same as in the US. Red, white and Blue, Slippery Seals, etc. They also have Karaoke and Restaurants if you are willing to tear yourself from the floor.

My aunt gave me about 10 packs of cigarettes to bring to the US. I mentioned how expensive they were here and that I couldn't believe they gave them out for free. I'm going to give them to my smoker friends and fam. They are all Marlboros, Salems and Capris.

The coolest thing is that when they do their nightly raffles, they call a bunch of people up and then do this "Price is Right" Plinko kind of thing to see how much money they win. How awesome is that!

Sorry I don't have any pics. I was warned against carrying a purse, camera, wedding ring, watch, etc. But then I imagine that is another post!

Christmas 2008

Officially, Christmas is over, but since it is still not New Years, I'm going for it!

We had a great Christmas this year. The month of December flew by. Especially with me spending a week in the hospital.

My Christmas cards are still on the desk and the presents are all over the house. We spent Christmas Eve with our family with a traditional "Aseng" dinner! I didn't even get the Christmas china out this year. I was so NOT on top of things.

Christmas morning was early and the kids spent the first part of the day with their presents. In the afternoon we went to Jeff's grandparents for a Cuneo Christmas. Lots of fun!

The next day, I had to work, but my boss was gracious enough to buy all 7 of us lunch (who weren't lucky enough to have vacation to take) and let us out early! Then off to Crazy Bounce with the kids and cousins to burn off some energy! Later that night we went to my in-laws and we spent a wonderful night with games, food and fun. Drinking BINGO was fun, especially with Kim's homemade Pineapple Vodka!

Saturday we drove up to Pentwater and soent the night with more family. We swam, played ROCKBAND 2, and played the Bag Game. Lots of food again, and catching up with family. I think we were all tired, because the usual partiers were tuckered! :)

So it is Sunday and we are playing with Christmas presents and being thankful for all that we have. Mom is still getting her suitcases ready for Lima and I get to look forward to another short week at work. Have no idea what we are doing for New Years Eve, but as long as my family is all together... I really don't care! :)

My love to everyone. Thanks for spending the past year with us, and I look forward to 2009. I'm praying that it is the best year yet. That I get to sit here next year and marvel at how much the kids and us have grown. 2008 has been a hard year for the family, but I'm still thankful that we are all here, healthy, loved and with many blessings. We have taken the hardships and learned from them. Don't take anything for granted and spend time with your loved ones.


God bless!

Trinity's Date Night

Every month we take one of the three kiddos out on a "Mom, Dad & Kid" date night. This month was Trinity's turn and we took her out to dinner at her favorite sit-down restaurant (Applebee's) and then to the mall to Libby Lu.

At first I will admit that when I first encountered Libby Lu, I was very against the thought of my daughter running around trying to look like Britney Spears. It seems like every girl that ever walked out of that place was covered in glitter, dressed in faux fur and wearing a headset microphone.

So how did it come that my little girl would be sporting that same glitter? Well, as much as I hate the thought of some psycho cele-Brittany being her role model... I do enjoy the thought of my daughter feeling beautiful.

You see Trinity wears glasses (which she already hates) and she is obsessed with the fact that she is an anomaly compared to the usual Dutch girl around town. Blond and blue eyes she is not! Instead of beating her down with the words from my mouth that speak to the contrary, I thought I would raise her up in her own eyes.

It is impossible to describe in one word. She's torn between being a tomboy and a girlie girl. She the middle child who doesn't get enough attention already. But for one night she was a pretty princess and while she was too shy to do the "Dance" she did get a tutu skirt to dance around in the privacy of her own home for her parents who think she is the most beautiful six year old in the whole world!

November already?

I am, as always, beyond amazed to realize that the end of the calendar year has come up again.

While this year has been the hardest yet, I still find myself with a certain amount of peace that I can only credit God with. Because I know that without Him, I would just be a puddle of gunk that seems to collect from nowhere.

I lost my daddy, a nephew, my stay-at-home status, among other things...

But still I managed to handle it all when I swore that I would have to depend on my husband to drug me up while I slept walked through all the motions.

I'm sacrificing, taking on more responsibilities and dealing with all the stuff that life brings every day. EVERY DAY!!! And I am dealing with stuff that doesn't happen everyday... like taking care of my dad's arrangements.

People have told me that they don't know how I do it... Well, that makes two of us. I can only describe it as the "Mom" in me. When you have little ones that need you, you take care of them... even when it is the last thing in the world that you want to do. You get yourself out of bed, go through the motions, pray you are one step ahead... and you just do it.

Life is getting so busy for our family. I don't manage to get everything done in time, but I do my best. I don't raise my children as much as I just keep them alive.

But out of the blue, sometimes I remember minutes before bed, that I still haven't gotten a hug or kiss from my kids. So I slow down and sit them in my lap and try to suck all the good feelings I can out of them. Thankfully they still let me.

That's worth getting up every morning isn't it?

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Daddy. I miss you!