Next...

Thanks all for letting me vent. I think I realized that when my dad passed away, I had to be the strong one and so it took me a while to really mourn him. The one thing I didn't realize is that getting over missing him was one thing, missing what my life used to be like is another.

Things have changed. I used to joke that my parents were my "kids". Well now, I do fully in my heart feel that I am responsible for my mom just as I am for my three kids and Jeff. While we were in Peru, I easily fell into the familiar pattern of child who asked mom for help. After all, it is her country, her customs, etc. But in reality, my mom was/is still in the stage of being a widow. Everything is new again, because she is looking at it all through new eyes. She still needed me to lean on. It was hard for both of us.

So I am asking for prayers. I think I was assuming that I had learned everything I needed to learn from Dad dying, but obviously I am wrong. I do have to be strong for my family, so I ask for strength.

I mostly share this because someday you (the reader) may find yourself in my shoes experiencing the death of a parent. I honestly don't know many (if any) people who are in my shoes with elderly parents and young children. I just hope it helps.

One of the nicest things someone once said to me was "No matter how old you are, it still hurts to lose your dad." It may not make much sense right now, but it touched my heart when she said it.