Monday, November 24, 2008

November already?

I am, as always, beyond amazed to realize that the end of the calendar year has come up again.

While this year has been the hardest yet, I still find myself with a certain amount of peace that I can only credit God with. Because I know that without Him, I would just be a puddle of gunk that seems to collect from nowhere.

I lost my daddy, a nephew, my stay-at-home status, among other things...

But still I managed to handle it all when I swore that I would have to depend on my husband to drug me up while I slept walked through all the motions.

I'm sacrificing, taking on more responsibilities and dealing with all the stuff that life brings every day. EVERY DAY!!! And I am dealing with stuff that doesn't happen everyday... like taking care of my dad's arrangements.

People have told me that they don't know how I do it... Well, that makes two of us. I can only describe it as the "Mom" in me. When you have little ones that need you, you take care of them... even when it is the last thing in the world that you want to do. You get yourself out of bed, go through the motions, pray you are one step ahead... and you just do it.

Life is getting so busy for our family. I don't manage to get everything done in time, but I do my best. I don't raise my children as much as I just keep them alive.

But out of the blue, sometimes I remember minutes before bed, that I still haven't gotten a hug or kiss from my kids. So I slow down and sit them in my lap and try to suck all the good feelings I can out of them. Thankfully they still let me.

That's worth getting up every morning isn't it?

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