Cry, cry, cry...

All day I have had an overwhelming urge to cry my eyes out. I miss my daddy and I'm not sure what brought it on. I have been working on some "favors" to give out the night of his anniversary mass... maybe that is it. I also finally deleted all the old voicemail messages from that week. Hearing everyone's sympathy could have done it as well I imagine.

Mom also had a bad day. Whether or not we blame it on the rainy day or whether it is just that he died on a Monday. I feel like just breaking down and being mad at the world for going on while I feel this way. The added responsibility of having to take care of "his affairs" is a weight on my shoulders as well. At least tomorrow we go see the attorney... hopefully that will help.

This picture is from a Peruvian Club of Michigan, Peruvian Independence Party. Lots of dancing and peruvian food. Dad loved to dance and he loved his music.

Gushing about Jeff

I have to totally gush about my husband...

Jeff drove to my parent's condo in the middle of the night, two nights before Dad died, to check a bruise that Dad got, and to mostly ease my Mom's mind.

The morning that Dad died, he sent the kids off to school, found a babysitter for my three year-old and made it back to me to say "good-bye" to Dad when the funeral home came to take him away.

I can't even list the rest of the things he did to make sure that I could tend to my mom and my family that came into town for the funeral. All that and he stayed by my side whenever he had the chance.

When I was single, I told myself that I wanted to marry a guy who was:
1) older than me
2) the same religion as me
3) who loved my parents as much as I did

Jeff is younger than me, he is not Catholic, but he does respect and love my parents as much as is humanly possible, and I know he does because he loves me.

I am completely blessed to have him in my life. He has made me a better person and I thank God every chance I get for saving this wonderful man for me to fall in love with.

Thank you sweetheart. I love you with all my heart.

Heroes - The TV show

I just don't get it.

Mourning mornings

So now it has been a week since Dad has passed, and Mom is settling in to our house, slowly but surely. She spends days at the condo with Tessa (my three-year-old) and then as a family we come back to my house.

The latest is that Mom believes I should be wearing "Mourning" appropriate attire. So I was incredibly surprised when I came out of my room in the morning ready for work and she exclaimed (with tears in her voice) "You can't wear that!". So I am now scrambling for proper attire ever morning for work. It's bad enough that I haven't been able to catch up with laundry since last week, but now I have to be pickier than "Yup, it's clean".

But I love and respect Mom and of course Dad. So I will be wearing somber colors for the next three or six months (whatever Mom deems.) At least every morning, as I struggle with clothes, I'll be able to take a moment and be thankful to have had a wonderful father who loved me very much and be thankful for a God who promises us paradise when we go to meet him if only we believe.

My Daddy

I planned on having my first post be about my Dad and his struggle due to poor health... but then he passed away on September 8, 2008 at 7:45am. I had the privledge of visiting him early that morning and having a conversation that gave us the overconfidence that he was not ready to die. But his breathing had gotten labored and I remembered that Jeff's Grandma B had the same type of breathing when she passed. So I mentioned it to my mom and to my husband. While I had went back home to get dressed and stop in at work for a little before the nurse came, he had taken the time to write "No CPR" on his notepad, minutes before he passed in bed at his home.

The rest of the week has been a whirlwind. So many people had called, written, came and offered support during this difficult time. All I know is that it has made me realize how much each small token of love means to someone when they are hurting.

To all of you, I offer my heartfelt thanks.
I love you all!

First Post

I've had a blog before... but I didn't share the site with too many people. Now I am addicted to Facebook and MySpace, and I realize that benefits of having a network of friends. I've been able to keep in touch with people I love, people who I used to spend time with, and people who knew a version of me that I sometimes forget I had.


But no matter what, it is refreshing to be able to get back to touch with old friends, keep in touch with the people who are a part of your life... and share a little bit of what is going on in your life now.