Disbelief...

My heart goes out to my brother-in-law Mike. His dad's health has been deteriorating quickly and his family has been preparing for his passing. They are making the necessary arrangements and preparing the best they can.

It all brings back memories of my daddy's passing.

I don't think we ever really believed he was going to die. Even the last morning he was with us, we didn't quite believe.

I wish I could make the process easier for Mike and Kim and his family.

Please pray for them in this difficult time.

Thanks friends!

http://connorzachary.blogspot.com/

As long as you guys are used to me asking for prayers. Here's a little guy who could use some.

Sara is a friend of some of our friends and we had the privledge of meeting her at our Lake Champion work week a couple years ago.

Ants in my pants...

Lately I have found myself more antsy than unusual.

I think it is because I feel like I am surrounded by so many new beginnings that are just waiting to happen.

My wonderful sis-in-law Kim is 31 weeks into a pregnancy with twin boys. In a matter of weeks, I am praying that I will be blessed to hold these little miracles in my own arms! I keep reminding them that "their Aunt Marianne loves them" whenever I am within talking distance of that belly!

School is about to start again for my kids. Tessa will be returning to daycare and in November my mom will be going to Peru for six months. School for Tristan & Trinity will be great in that they don't have the stress of moving to a new school like they did last year. Tessa too will be returning to a familiar setting.

My mom will be going to Lima for the first time alone. Now that my dad and grandmother have passed, she is relieved of the duty of caretaker. She can do her own thing which is scary and exciting at the same time for her.

Jeff and I put the house up for sale. That is always a stressful time for anyone. Waiting to see if someone will see the potential in a home and not see the minor faults that you swear no one would ever be able to overlook!

Other small things are soccer practices, final summer playdates, figuring out a new work schedule for me (as my boss wouldn't mind me working even more hours) and preparing for Labor Day weekend and the memorial mass for my dad that falls on that weekend.

I just pray that the negativity stays away and that I take the time to enjoy these new beginnings and put my trust in God that all will go well!

Everytime You Go Away- Paul Young

I love when my subconsious overrules my brain and I'm just a slave to it.

I happen to be here at work having a super busy day (you wouldn't guess by my deciding to blog right this minute, but it is busy!) and this song happens to pop up and I get this goofy butterfly feeling in my stomach.

Along with the butterflies I have a tingly, goose-bump thing going.

I stop my busyness to realize that I am having an eighth-grade activity night flashback. Dancing for the first time with a boy that I've had a crush on. I can almost picture the multicolored spots of light flowing over my head.

No wonder we have such a hard time being adults... when was the last time you had a reaction like this to adult things like work and grocery shopping?

I don't believe that just because we are adults, we have to stop being fun and set aside the things that make us happy. If you have children, you know they take all their cues from you.

My goal tonight to find something that will give me that feeling again and make new memories that I will enjoy 20 years from now.

One year anniversary

It is coming up to the one year anniversary of losing my dad. Peruvian culture calls for a mass in his honor and a get-together of his loved ones.

The thing is that our relatives and family friends live so far away and the actual anniversary falls over Labor Day weekend. The whole thing is inconvenient for everyone. So it boils down the only ones going to the mass are my mom and our family. My brain understands, but my heart just weeps.

This has been upsetting me all week.

My dad was awesome. When I find myself wanting to ball up in a corner and cry it is because I selfishly want the world to stop and remember that someone so great is no longer on this earth.

One year ago this weekend, we went down to the farmer's market and Holland's sidewalk sales. Dad made sure the kids got treats, and I would sit with him outside while everyone else went in the stores because it was too crowded and cumbersome to bring him in with the wheelchair.

I made him buy a new pair of sandals, which he never wore. But he bought them to make me happy. We never imagined the end would ever come.... no matter what all the doctors said.

Love you Papi!